Oh Hell No!
by BoredRavenvlaw620
Summary: Family vacation at the beach—done and done; finding out your precious child is growing up before your eyes—Oh hell no! A drabble challenge from Dramione FanFiction Forum.


**AN: Couldn't resist this little drabble challenge. Please forgive my cringe worthy joke, I couldn't resist it either!**

 **The challenge was to write a drabble between 100-1000 words (this one is 766, minus this note and the one at the bottom), pairing Dramione, and must use the phrase "You call these bikini bottoms" and the words, "beach," "blanket," and "bingo."**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, just frolicking with the characters for enjoyment, no profit whatsoever.**

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"Granger! Granger, get in here!"

Hermione groaned and rose from her work to answer his beckoning bellow.

"Malfoy, what has you in such a temper?"

"Have you seen this?" He intoned as he gestured sharply toward the view below.

Hermione glided over to the window and observed the scene.

"Yes, I've seen the view. It's rather lovely, I'm looking forward to enjoying it first-hand when I put the finishing touches on this last chapter," she answered wistfully.

"For the love of all that is sacred," Draco sighed, the sigh of a man frustrated beyond reason. "The blasted view is not what I'm showing you! Look at our daughter!"

Hermione looked out and saw their daughter, Aurora, blonde curls pulled back from her face the gentle sea breeze blowing the strands into disarray. She was lying on her front, book propped before her while lounging beneath an umbrella; the very picture of relaxed teenage innocence. _Ah, if only her childhood had been as carefree._

"She looks pretty happy to me. I'm glad she's relaxing instead of just doing homework like I always did." Hermione chuckled.

Draco scoffed. "Well of course she looks happy! She's on the beach practically naked!" He screeched.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "She looks perfectly acceptable. All the essential parts, and then some, are covered."

"Covered!? You call these bikini bottoms!?"

Draco was incredulous. How could his wife allow their precious pure angel to don a swimsuit with so little fabric?

"Yes, I call those bikini bottoms. I'm pleased we have a level-headed, well rounded, beautiful young lady who carries herself with self-confidence and self-respect, and feels comfortable in her skin," Hermione answered calmly. "Besides it's a private beach."

"I refuse to have that odious letch your best friend calls a son leering at my little girl the rest of the week!"

"James is hardly an 'odious letch,'" Hermione said with an eye roll. "He may be spirited, but he's always been sweet and respectful to our daughter. Not like Blaise's budding lothario. And it's time you accepted the fact that our daughter is quickly becoming a woman."

Draco's stuttering attempt at a response was cut short when he found his arms full of his petite fiery witch, the feel of her soft lips grazing the underside of his jaw. "You know," she sighed her dainty fingers running lightly over his chest; "you didn't mind my swimming attire when we reconnected after graduation."

Draco pulled her closer, the mere thought of how he found her on that Italian beach bringing his body to full attention.

"Of course I didn't mind! I was a 19 year old male, and you were completely nude!"

Hermione giggle, but continued to press her body against Draco's, "Mhmm, I was, and so were you if I recall," she purred.

"What do you say later tonight we sneak down to that private beach and recapture our youth?" Draco growled against the tender skin of Hermione's throat.

"A little round of beach blanket bingo, huh?" Hermione teased.

"It's my favorite game, especially when you call O-sixty-nine," Draco shot back with a smirk.

Hermione broke down in a fit of laughter, Draco quickly following.

As their merriment died they heard voices calling from downstairs signaling the arrival of their house guests.

Hermione gave an excited squeal and dragged Draco to welcome them.

Hugs were given and received with enthusiasm by Hermione, Harry and Ginny; handshakes proffered in a very aloof and manly fashion by Draco and Harry, and general sentiments of hospitality and gratitude were exchanged.

"Where's James?" Hermione asked after the initial commotion died down.

"Went straight to the beach," Ginny said with a smirk and a wink, "I don't think he could wait another minute to see Aurora."

A feral growl was heard followed a slam of the patio door.

Hermione, Harry, and Ginny followed the trickling trail of magic Draco left in his wake as he tore out to the beach.

"Uh, oh," Ginny said mischievously, "this may not end well."

Draco was stomping toward his daughter who was presently being snogged within an inch of her life by one, indeed, odious letch, James Potter, the clearly dunderheaded teen's hand traveling lower toward her bikini clad bottom.

Draco reached the oblivious teens in mere moments. To say Aurora and James looked surprised when they were ripped apart would have been an understatement.

"Don't kill him, Daddy. I love him," Aurora said softly.

Even in the face of Draco's wrath, James smiled sweetly at her and said, "Really? I love you too."

All Draco could say was, "OH HELL NO!"

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 **Leave a little review and let me know what you think!**

 **Thanks Dramione FanFiction Forum for extending the challenge!**


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